#28 -Nobody Knows that I....

Oh my, what a topic. I feel like we haven't gotten enough juicy topics this side of the month, so let's make it juicy. 

Nobody knows that I....

I always thought I would end up alone.

*Exasperated roll of eyes from people that know me*. You always have a boyfriend. How can you even pretend you would end up alone?

I know, I know. It seems contradictory. Let me explain.

There's an interview with Shirley Manson, lead singer of Garbage and my personal goddess where the interviewer is plowing through a list of standard prompts. I want, I need, I love, that sort of thing. The interview gets to, "I am trying" as in, "I am trying to be a better person" or "I am trying to be healthier." And Shirley responds, "Yes, I am trying. Very trying." 

I am trying, very trying. I'm bossy, I'm a know-it-all. I'm not terribly concerned about your opinion of this or that because I seem to be doing quite fine by myself thank you very much sir. I like things to be my way, and challenging me takes a very deft hand. A very deft hand. 

Simultaneously, I must always be entertained. I'm a straight up addict for new and the unexplored. Combine that with the fact that love is an addiction, one that lasts only one to two years without the "work" part, and you've got a recipe for disasters. Now that we're making our way through Doctor Who, I'll liken it to the Doctor. I like having a companion. But the companions don't really stay for more than a season or two. A companion for everything. For music, for math, for wine, for travel -one for every occasion. After all, we're now a nation of specialists rather than Renaissance men. 

If I had kids, I thought it would be a "Mamma Mia" situation. "Just one look and I forget everything" and wind up with a daughter and a parade of hosts for father. We'd live on our beautiful Greek island of bliss and they could wander in and out to teach her things when she needed. It helps when you like lone wolves. One's with their own agendas and lives to manage.

Alone never seemed like a bad life, just the likely life.